Love for All--love runs deep for birth family

This week a friend going through the adoption process found herself in a match meeting with a birth family.  Afterwards, when we talked, I saw the hope and love in her eyes as she relayed how well the meeting went, how they talked for hours, how natural it all felt.  And it all came flooding back...back to that day that we went to our match meeting...To the nerves that were there that melted away the minute we met because it was just so comfortable...To the ways we connected with stories and pictures of our families that were about to be joined forever...To the way our hearts grew more than we would have ever expected over those couple hours. 

For when we went into the adoption process, we of course, thought mostly about a baby.  We had no idea how deeply we would connect with the family and how adoption is about everyone.  One might think about how much they will love the baby that comes into their lives, but what you quickly realize is how much you will love the entire family that becomes so important.  Indeed, our daughter's birth family is our family and the love for them runs deep.

As our daughter grows, it is interesting to watch the relationships grow and to watch her grow into the relationships.  One of her favorite things to do is to "send stickers", or send icons via text to birth mom.  And recently, she's been asking to send videos.  Over the past couple weeks, she sent a video of her singing Happy Birthday to her birth mother.  It was magical.  You could tell how happy her little heart was, as well as how much these little things mean to her birth mother.  And our hearts?--full of pride and love!  Pride that this little 4 year old shows so much love, that she tries to do all she knows to make hearts happy, that she is secure in her love for all.  Our love for her family runs deep and we know their love for her is incredible.  It is a love we will always honor, nurture, and celebrate.  This is our family.  

Today, as we wait to welcome another child through adoption, we are eager for so much.  Eager to welcome a child, but also eager to welcome a birth family.  We are eager to connect and build a relationship with the understanding that our family is growing--for we know we not only welcome a child, but also welcome a birth family.  Indeed, they are our family. 

Notes on Support

When we were waiting for our first baby, I wrote about the importance of education to us.  In looking back and now having been able to experience some of these things as parents, it couldn't ring truer than it does today.  The post Much Success--Our Promise of Education talks about how we will make education a priority for our children, but even more so, how we will make preparing them emotionally and supporting them emotionally a priority, so that they can truly realize that success.  We noted how it is easy to be ready for idealistic parts of parenting, but important to be ready for all the parts in between as well.  Here's a little excerpt:

Education is an enormous part of our lives.  Indeed, a promise of a good education is one of the most important things we feel we can give to the child that comes into our family.  Still, it is clear that it is not just education that prepares children for their future.

And so, I'm thinking of what it will really take to prepare our children for success.
When our children walk into Kindergarten, I want to watch knowing that we have prepared them for that moment--that we've walked them through their day, discussed what it means to be a respectful, responsible student, shared our belief that school is for learning and for fun.  And I want them to come running into our arms with stories of success.  I want to be sitting in the stands as they play in their first soccer game or their first concert, knowing that we have helped them plan for success,  for them to leave in the morning confident in all that lies ahead of them that day.  And as they grow, we want to be there helping them navigate those emotional years, there to help them tackle their challenges, to guide them in their studies, and to support them fully in their dreams.
Of course, there will be days when they may be timid or days where their confidence has left them and on those days, we'll be there just the same, preparing them for success as we build them up.  It is easy to say that you are ready for all the successes, but what is important is that you are just as ready for the challenges.  Likewise, it is easy to say that you are ready for a baby, but important to ask if you're ready  for an adolescent, a teenager, a college graduate.  And happily, I can say we are.  Our dreams for the future include preparing a child for success through all stages and being there for them every step of the way.

Yes, education is at the core of our family.  It always has been and always will be.  As future parents, it will be our greatest pleasure and accomplishment to educate and nurture a child--preparing them for much success, helping them up when they falter, and ensuring that their future is bright.  If we don't visualize success, we cannot make it a reality.  Fortunately, it is what we visualize and what we dream of--ensuring the child that comes into our lives and their entire family that they are well prepared, they have incredible support, and their future is bright.

As a teacher I teach children how to read and write, solve math problems, and learn about the world around them.  I believe that each step of the way, I am preparing them for success.  But I also teach how to manage their emotions, how to communicate with others, how to be a good friend, how to assert themselves and how to listen to others, how to persevere and concur challenges that may lie ahead of them.  The lessons in Kindergarten are endless, and I am so lucky to be able to teach these important, lifelong lessons to little ones.

But now, as parents, we can reflect on teaching these things to our own little one as well.  Our daughter is curious.  She is into everything; there is barely a risk she won't take.  She plays hard and feels hard--she is four, after all.  And we love it, every minute of it.  Watching her in the act of growing is the greatest joy of life.  

Those are the sweetest moments of parenting, but we all know there are many other moments in between.  At a recent parent teacher conference, I heard of a parent surprised that their child did not exhibit some of the behaviors they were showing at home at school.  And what she said next was priceless.  "I am glad, of course," she noted.  "Not only glad to hear that he's doing well here, but also glad that I get to be the one to teach him how to navigate those tough times."  And of course, this is the key.

Life is made up of the above, but there are tantrums as well in the life of a parent; there are big emotions and reactions.  But to be able to teach one how to work through this --how to take their frustrations and understand them, put into words how they are feeling, and communicate to fix their problems is such a privilege.  To be able to teach one how to handle disappointment without getting discouraged, to be there to pick them up and help them dust themselves off and be ready for the next set of challenges is such a privilege.  To be able to teach one that that feeling, that emotion is ok, that it is ok to feel that, and then what to do with that feeling constructively is such a privilege.  Indeed, it is the greatest honor as a parent.

And today we stand ready to begin again with another little one.  To love and cherish, guide and enrich, but most of all to support every step of the way.  We are ready for the successes and the challenges alike, for the baby days and the teenage days.  Indeed, we are eager--eager for the opportunity to be a rock of stability for whatever child comes into our lives and joins our family next. 

Play is Learning

One of the greatest joys of parenting is watching a little one learning.  Some of those moments stick out in my mind and will last a lifetime--when in the stage of filling and emptying everything in sight, she once ran out of space in the container for the balls in front of her.  You could see her thinking in that moment and then she searched for another container and proudly filled it as well.  When in a highly verbal stage as a three year old, I listened to her put words together and build her vocabulary, using more and more words each day.  And now, as a four year old, I listen and watch as she sits in my lap as she put sounds together to begin to read.  And when you watch, you can see the thinking, the learning.  It's thrilling for us as parents and for me as a teacher!

But learning is broad and she's learning with about everything she does these days.  Whether it's learning balance as she climbs one of the many logs or rocks she decides to take on when we're enjoying the outdoors, or finding little ant hills or bugs to inspect along the way.  With every bit of this, we watch her intently watch the world around her and hear the many questions she asks.  We watch her think her footing through and become more and more sure of herself and her physical abilities.

Sometimes, it's watching her learn as she does one of her many puzzles--how she tries different pieces and turns the pieces different ways and solves them without giving into frustration.  Other times, it's watching as she learns how the colors of paint mix, or how different brushes work. It's riding bikes and scooters for hours, exploring every nook and cranny of a museum's interactive exhibits, and learning to share and compromise as she plays with friends. 

Whatever it might be, we try to engage in as much play as possible--to engage and get energy out, to form happy memories, and to promote that learning.  Events and places around town are always fun to explore--from programs to see animals at local nature centers or farms, to exploring at the Children's or Science Museum...from getting creative at an art studio to exploring different cultures through festivals around the cities...from open gym days with endless running and tumbling to lazy days at the beach building sand castles.



This is the heart of our family--exploring, engaging, learning.  We are so excited to watch as another little one grows, to watch them develop and learn through such experiences.  To watch siblings play and learn together will be another honor that we have yet to experience. 
To the little one who joins our family--we have a whole world to explore, and your big sister is more than ready to show you around!  

A New Journey in a New Year

As we head into the new year, we begin a new journey--one to share our love and build our family.  
Three years ago, we were fortunate enough to build our family through open adoption and are looking to do so again.  Beginning this journey as a family of three, having built our family through adoption, is different.  This time we know the bonds that are formed with new family, one that has chosen you as parents.  We know the ways your capacity to love grows exponentially, we know the joys of parenting.  This time around, we have even more love to share--our own and the love of our little three year old, who is more than ready to become a big sister to a little one!

This time we are again reminded of the power of sharing our story, opening up our life, and allowing others to see all that defines our family.  Not surprisingly, it remains the case that the majority of adoptions occur through personal connections, through people sharing their stories, through others being able to see what life will be like for their child.

Years ago when we shared our story, we were sharing our dreams and now, we can share the reality of what childhood in our family is really like.  Reflecting on that alone is emotional.  Even looking back at our last post here, when we were preparing for a little one but not yet matched, is emotional.  Our little family has been brought so much happiness and joy through open adoption.  We all hope becoming a family of four is on our horizon in this new year.  

As we embark on this journey, we again say thank you--for your support and your understanding.  We hope that you enjoy sharing this journey with us, and most of all, we hope that putting ourselves out there in this way will somehow help a young mother as they discover that they have the power of exploring their options.  Happy New Year! 

   

Getting ready for baby!

While we're still not setting up a complete nursery, we are definitely getting ready for baby.  It feels quite liberating to be at the point where we feel it necessary and comfortable to begin truly preparing a spot for the little baby we will one day bring home.

At this point, we're picking out all that will turn our extra room into a nursery and prepare us for parenting.  We have our eyes set on a crib and a cozy rocker you can simply sink into.  We've chosen bouncers and swings to lull the little one to sleep and mobiles and toys to entertain and enjoy.  Boppies and rattles, car seat, highchair, and baby bathtub--all ready to go.  Snugly blankets, precious sleepers, and onesies are all waiting to fill the drawers and at least one of us (you can guess which one) links often to our dream stroller.  Everything we'll need, in fact, is chosen.  In the event that we have time to set up a nursery ourselves, it will be thrilling to begin checking the items off our list as we gleefully purchase each one.  But, in the event that we don't have much time to prepare, we're all set!  Knowing that we have many people lined up to help, we feel confident that whatever our road to baby brings, we are fully prepared.  How lucky we are to be surrounded by family and friends that are so willing and eager to lend a helping hand and join us in welcoming a new baby!   

And for those things that may disappear?  Well, we make sure we snatch them up before they do!  In this way, we've gathered some of the most adorable elements of our nursery.  Who could resit an elephant hamper?  Muslin giraffe sheets?  Bright pillow covers?  Not these parents!  Whether we end up bringing home a boy or girl, our nursery is well on its way to being the perfect place to lay a little one down for a nap or snuggle up for a bedtime story, build towers with blocks or take in some tummy time!  While we may be slowly filling the house with baby items, we can't wait for the day the house is filled with the laughter and joy of a little one!  Excitedly, but patiently, we are waiting and preparing our home and ourselves for baby as we do so!

The Power of Word of Mouth

Through the journey of adoption, we have met many people along the way.  Adoption counselors and social workers help us navigate this uncharted territory and bring clarity to many different aspects of the process.  But the best connections we make are always with other adoptive families and couples hoping to adopt.  Day to day, few can truly understand exactly what it is we are going through.  While everyone is incredibly supportive, those who are going through, or have gone through the process, have a different viewpoint.  It is always refreshing to be able to talk candidly about the ups and downs of our journey, our fears, and our hopes and dreams for our future family.

Two of our closest adoptive connections also do another thing for us—they remind us just how unpredictable this journey can be.  Now that we're in the book, we wonder a lot. . . Is anyone looking at our profile?  Is anyone interested in us as adoptive parents?  Who is visiting our site?  Are family and friends passing the word of our adoption along?  What will our adoption story be? . . . and on and on . . . The questions are endless.  And one of the most difficult aspects of this whole journey is that we'll never have any answers...until, one day, all of a sudden, we do. 

And that is what these two families, in particular, remind us daily.  The first family is the family of a college friend I've known for years.  Their first adoption was over two years ago and happened literally overnight.  While at work, a call came through saying that a mother in labor was considering them to parent her child and wanted to meet as soon as possible.  That night, they were at the hospital for the birth of their son, and in a matter of days, they were home as a family of three.  About a year and a half later, these same parents found themselves wondering when they would begin the journey to their second child, when they received a surprising phone call asking if they would consider parenting another little one.  Weeks later, they were a family of four, with two rambunctious little boys only seventeen months apart.

The most recent adoption story speaks to the power of word of mouth.  Also having adopted their first child just over two years ago, another family we met through adoption connections found themselves considering beginning the process again for adoption #2.  However, they soon learned that the wait would not be as long as they may have first thought. A little over a month ago a friend of theirs went to dinner with a friend of hers.  That friend ran into another friend who was trying to find a couple to place her baby through adoption.  Long story short, they met with the couple a few times and the birth parents asked them to parent their baby girl.  Weeks later, after a 2:00 a.m. trip to the hospital for the birth of their daughter, they headed home as a family of four!

There are countless more stories in the same vein, speaking to the promise and unpredictability of adoption.  The stories are a powerful testament to just how word of mouth helps to form many families and how you have to be ready for anything.  It is these very stories that we come to when the wait for our own little one gets tough.  For the reality is that we won't know a thing, until all of a sudden, we do.  No, the wait to build a family is not always easy.  For us and others, the path can be  an arduous one at times, full of twists and turns and days and nights of longing.  Still, we stay incredibly positive.  We hold close to one another and remind ourselves of what the future will bring.  We find hope and promise in the beauty of others' stories and families.  And we trust that the countless people who have shown us incredible support are continuing as our biggest champions—spreading the word of our adoption and cheering us on every step of the way.  

To the families that were built and those that are just now growing through adoption: congratulations!  To the couples waiting to build their family: we hope these stories restore you and your optimism on this journey.  And to those who continually support us: the greatest thank you of all!  You never know what might lead us to our family!

Our Adoption Website!

We are beyond thrilled to be launching our adoption website today!  While we have had a Facebook page and this blog for quite some time, our intent all along was to have a large website that would tell our story.  Well, that small seed grew into something quite large--our massive adoption website.  As the true flagship of our outreach and networking efforts, we hope that this site helps those considering adoption understand our family by giving a sneak peek into our everyday lives, our family values, and our hopes for the future.  In this vein, it is full of pictures from the past and the present, from family and friends, from holidays and celebrations.  It explains what beliefs, traditions, and values define us as a family and, above all, details our promise to the child and the family that come into our lives.

    Link to OUR ADOPTION WEBSITE!

At times it still feels a bit odd to be putting our whole lives out there like this, but every piece of adoption wisdom we come across points to the same thing--outreach and networking are far more effective than waiting.  Completely logical, right?  So we are not sitting and waiting, but rather, putting ourselves out there for all to see; hoping that our efforts help to build our family, hoping that every personal contact we have will share this with their own contacts, and they with theirs and so on and so on.  And that eventually, news of our waiting family will reach a birth family considering adoption, a family that will be our perfect pair.

Yes, we hope that these efforts brings us one step closer to bringing a child into our home, but we also hope that it serves as a resource to any birth mother or birth family considering adoption for their child.  Here's hoping that regardless of the decision that is reached, this site helps to highlight not only our family, but also the spirit and promise of adoption itself.

So, enjoy!  And if you are so inclined (which we hope that you are) please help us spread the word and share, share, share!     www.perfectlypaired-erikandsuzyadopt.com 

*** A very special thanks to everyone who helped us with the building of this website by offering pictures, edits, and advice.  We couldn't have done it without you!  You are clearly an enormous part of our lives, one we have relied on throughout this journey and one we look forward to sharing the next chapter of our lives with. *** 

A very special thank you to Poly at Poly Mendes Photography who took many of the beautiful pictures found on the site.  The life that she brought to the site with her images is incredible.  We can't wait until we meet up for pics again--next time with a little one! 

Happy New Year!

                

Happy New Year!  

Looking back on this milestone year, we are incredibly thankful for the outpouring of love and support from friends and family, the new connections and friendships we have made on this journey thus far, and the promise and hope of adoption!  We hope to be sharing a different sort of New Year's greeting next year!  We wish you all the best throughout this new year.  

May all your days be merry and bright!  

Best, 

Erik & Suzy

Winter Wonderland!

Our house in the long-awaited snow!

Yup, we'll be shoveling that!

our front stoop

 Well, winter is finally here and we couldn't be happier!  We've received just about the perfect winter storm here in the Twin Cities, with more than a foot accumulating over the weekend when we can largely stay nice and cozy at home.  Indeed, this morning was about the best morning we've had in a long time—waking to a beautiful winter wonderland, curling up together with a good book, sipping our coffee and tea, all with the knowledge that we are onto the next step of our adoption process—the home study.

a walk around the block

winter morning

winter morning

our first ornaments

What a wonderful feeling to know that we have reached another mile marker in our journey!  It is in these moments that we stop to reflect on where we are, how far we've come, and how lucky we are to have each other as we navigate this journey.  And today it was as though we were given a day to do just that.  In fact, as I pulled out loads of holiday decorations, there were waves of nostalgia for us both as we were flooded with memories of our past few years of trying to build a family...Dreaming of building a family from the very beginning, we picked out our first ornaments together as a married couple, onesies printed with snuggle bug and peanut;  holiday sets of dishes complete with cups just right for a kiddie sized hot cocoa line our kitchen counters;  cherished heirlooms move us to imagine the holiday traditions, stories, and celebrations we have been waiting to share with a little one...

our first Christmas as a married couple

But the best thing of all?  Each of these memories brought a smile today, no tears or worries or angst.  The moments were happy, hopeful moments focused on our future.  We would be lying if we said that past holidays haven't had their share of challenges.  Indeed, as most who have experienced fertility issues can attest to, the struggle can seem to take over at times.  There were days that were simply defined by the treatments we were undergoing, the revelation that we would have no upcoming due date, or the pain as other couples shared the very news we so badly wanted to deliver ourselves.  No, it hasn't always been easy, but we have been hand in hand, supporting each other all the way.  And now that we can say we have taken another step in our adoption process, we feel as though we are that much closer to the child that will become part of our family.

walking Erik's family pup, Oliver

As I went over the top with decorations today, I watched the snow fall...and fall...and fall.  And all day I watched neighbors help each other shovel, kids jumping in the snow and throwing snowballs, grown men and women trailing a sweatered pup, and fathers pulling their own little ones down the sidewalks on sleds.  It was beautiful, heart-warming, even encouraging, because that is our future.

Reindeer Pup

So here's a sneak peek for the families wondering what a future with us might look like, or at least what those winter days surrounding the holidays might look like.  Here's a sneak peek at the relaxed wonders of the day and the magic of the holidays.  In the coming weeks, these are the rooms where we will have lively dinners with friends and family, the tree we'll gather around as children work hard on decorating cookies, and the fireplace that will crackle as we exchange gifts during our own little Christmas celebration, all the while imagining what a joy it will be to share it all with a little snuggle bug, a little peanut in the future. 

       









Wishing everyone the magic of the holiday season!

       - Erik & Suzy

Fall Festivities

We've officially entered the holiday season and I must say I absolutely love this time of year--a time that is defined by friends and family, hearty laughs and endless good food.  As most things seem to these days, the holidays have once again taken on a new meaning in the light of adoption.  Although we have always appreciated the holidays for their ability to create lasting memories, we now find ourselves wondering what types of memories we will help to create for our own family.

Thanksgiving and Christmas are definitely favorite holidays, but I was surprised this year by how much I enjoyed seeing the festivities of Halloween.  I know, I know, the day before Thanksgiving is a little late to be talking about Halloween, but to us it was the start to a holiday season that has us excited for the years that lie ahead.

Fall has always been our favorite time of year.  It seems to have that unmatched essence to it--the chill that fills the air, the delicious in-season foods, the colors.  We celebrate fall outdoors and indoors as we venture out for walks, and brighten our house with the fall decor that evokes that cozy feel and helps to make the place we will hunker down for a matter of months inviting and warm.

Though the kick-off to our holiday season is usually today, the day before Thanksgiving, this year we are still feeling as though it were Halloween.  Because this year more than any other, it was apparent how fun Halloween will prove to be as a family.  For starters, you get the joy of watching your child exercise their imagination as they prepare for the greatest dress-up day of the year.  Then, you watch their anticipation as the day draws nearer and nearer.  And then you watch their joy.  As a parent, of course you look to find safe ways and places for your child to exercise this excitement and I'm happy to say, such opportunities are all around us.  Suzy's school, for example, hosts an annual Haunted Tales, a night where families come and listen to teachers read children's books and poems with a Halloween theme.  The stories are more silly than haunted, and all the kids come tromping through the doors decked out with the widest grins in their full costumes.  Peels of laughter and wide eyes follow as the teachers get up to perform enthusiastically dramatic readings of the stories.  Looking around makes you realize how lucky we are to be part of this incredible community and makes us both anxious for the day our child can experience it's support and joy.

Yet it isn't only this story time we're now looking forward to, or the carving of our own pumpkins, or the gathering of our own Halloween loot - it is now our neighborhood party.  Coming home on Halloween evening proved to be a bit of a challenge.  Upon returning home and pulling onto our street, the sidewalks were crawling with kids and families out to enjoy the evening's festivities.  We both had to circle a four block radius of our house to find parking, but once we neared our own home, the reason became clear--a massive Halloween celebration steps away from our own back door.  By talking to neighbors who were camped out in their front yard roasting marshmallows and serving cider for the night, we finally got the full story behind the party.  The celebration began with a group of mothers who wanted to ensure there would always be a safe place for their children to enjoy Halloween.  And so they met, over coffee, planning a massive block party.  They called the city to have them block off the streets, they called each neighbor to encourage participation and in the end what they crafted was a four-night celebration--a pumpkin carving party, a night of open houses hosted by those on the block, the ultimate Halloween block party with street performers and games and elaborate house decorations, and finally, a relaxing night for the adults who put this all together.
Experiencing this as we walked home from our parked cars was exhilarating this time around, and hearing all the running kids screaming that "This is the best Halloween ever!" had us anxious for the day we can watch our own child experience that magic.

As we move into the true holiday season, we find ourselves thinking what else we might watch our child do--help make the pie dough, decorate cookies, play their first Thanksgiving football game, set their shoes out on St. Nick's day, hang ornaments on the tree, and of course, sneak more treats than they should!  We look to the memories we will make as a family, but we now find ourselves looking to the memories that will be provided by our incredible community.  Our home, school, neighborhood, and family have already proven to be incredibly supportive to us, but it is becoming more and more apparent how lucky we will be to raise a child surrounded by such support and joy.

The holidays, defined by anticipation, excitement, love, and joy will continue to be our favorite time of year.  But that day where we can share them with a little one, making memories as a family, that will make them even more significant.  

Everybody Loves Me!

Our last post was all about the wonders of fall and the promise of a new year, but now I am taking a minute to reminisce about the wonders of summer.  Of course, as an educator, my summers are generally very relaxed.  This summer was no different, but it seems to hold a special place in my heart.  After a relatively rough year of infertility, we were able to fully relax, be renewed by the promise of adoption, and spend quality time with family and friends without the distractions that had plagued us over the last year. 

Some of the most memorable time this summer was the time I spent with a good friend--a friend I've known since college, with whom I have traveled the world and shared tubs of ice cream, tears, and endless laughs.  This summer, I shared a special time with her as she welcomed her brand new baby boy into her family.  As a rule, Erik and I both try to give our time, energy, and a helping hand to others whenever we can and this summer, I could.  Quite a unique situation, my friend and her family found themselves in the surprising, but incredible position of welcoming a new baby through adoption.  In a matter of weeks, they went from a family of three to a family of four, with two boys 17 months apart!  So I was there--spending quality time with the oldest boy as he adjusted to his new sibling, helping to push the double stroller through the park, watching the boys while mom took a minute to shower.  This time was invaluable time with a good friend, but also time that reinforced the beauty of adoption over and over again.

On one trip to stock up for her brand new baby, I saw something I couldn't resist - this cute onesie!  Why?

Because of the message.  The message that wisely included EVERYBODY.  The rest of the aisles were lined with bibs and blankets proclaiming "Mommy Loves Me" or "Daddy's Little Monster," but this onesie, complete with adorable giraffes, sensibly stated "EVERYBODY LOVES ME."  My friend and I talked about how we loved the message and later, once I revealed my new purchase to hubs, we reflected on what this will mean to our future family.

It was one little onesie, but in a few words, it summed up one of the most important lessons we wish to teach our future child.  Indeed, it represented the primary message we want to share with the child and birth family alike.  For the child that joins our family, it is important to us that they know the love of everyone that surrounds them--parents, friends, family, and birth family.  We will always recognize that it was love that brought them into the world, love that brought them into our family, and love that will sustain them and our family.  

Erik and I look forward to building a positive and constructive open adoption.  While we know that the type of open adoption we have will be borne of a mutual agreement between birth parents and adoptive parents, we also know that no matter what that ends up looking like we will always teach our child the incredible love of all involved.  That love is all-encompassing and never ending and as such, should always be communicated and celebrated.  It is this very message, that "EVERYBODY LOVES ME"  that we hope to help our child fully understand, appreciate, and carry in their heart for a lifetime.

As we look forward to our future meeting with a birth parent, birth parents, or an entire birth family there will always be apprehension, we assume for both parties.  But in the end, we know that the family we are paired with will share our dream of helping that very special little one feel all the love that surrounds them.  Indeed, our family will be defined, more that anything else, by love.  Here's hoping we find those somebodies to share our lives with!

Much Success--Our Promise of Education

This is what is known as the best time of the year, at least in my world.  Summer is winding down and fall is arriving.  But there are still long days to enjoy, to truly savor, as we realize these sun-drenched days won't be around much longer.  It is the time when you scramble to do all your favorite outdoor activities before the cold blows in, to venture to all those places you hadn't quite gotten to yet.  And for me, every year at this point, it is a time of promise and excitement.

As a teacher, this is the first week of school and the beginning of my year.  It is hectic, it is tiring, but it is magical.  As I savor these last warm days, I also welcome a brand new batch of students.  I get my classroom ready, I walk through each lesson meticulously, I attend many meetings to sharpen my skills, and I become inspired for the year ahead.

Yet this year, as I prepare, things are a bit different.  Not only am I now able to work across the K-12 spectrum and support students of various ages with various needs to maximize their success; I am also able to think beyond the school building.  Yes, I am becoming inspired by the promise and excitement for my future class, but at the same time, I am becoming inspired by the promise and excitement of our own family's future.  The leap may seem odd, so let me explain...

The connection happened at a conference, of all places.  When the presenter was delivering his closing remarks, he said something that made me think far beyond the classroom and far into the future.  Here, he shared what they tell their students as they graduate high school and prepare to leave for college.  "At our schools we don't say good luck," he said.  "You don't need luck if you're well prepared, so we say much success."  It was simple, it was straight-forward, but it left an incredible impact.  Immediately, my mind went to the children in my classroom, the children in my school.  I began running through the different ways we prepare our students for those academic and character tests they will encounter in and outside of school.  But all of a sudden, it seemed to strike a chord with me outside of the classroom, with the child who will become part of our family.

I began thinking of our future family--children we will nurture and support as infants, toddlers, adolescents, and adults.  And I began thinking of the implications of good luck and what it really means to truly prepare your children for the future.

Education is an enormous part of our lives.  Indeed, a promise of a good education is one of the most important things we feel we can give to the child that comes into our family.  Still, it is clear that it is not just education that prepares children for their future.  And so, I'm thinking of what it will really take to prepare our children for success.

When our child walks into Kindergarten, I want to watch knowing that we have prepared them for that moment--that we've walked them through their day, discussed what it means to be a respectful, responsible student, shared our belief that school is for learning and for fun.  And I want them to come running into our arms with stories of success.  I want to be sitting in the stands as they play in their first soccer game or their first concert, knowing that we have helped them plan for success,  for them to leave in the morning confident in all that lies ahead of them that day.  And as they grow, we want to be there helping them navigate those emotional years, there to help them tackle their challenges, to guide them in their studies, and to support them fully in their dreams.

Of course, there will be days when they may be timid or days where their confidence has left them and on those days, we'll be there just the same, preparing them for success as we build them up.  It is easy to say that you are ready for all the successes, but what is important is that you are just as ready for the challenges.  Likewise, it is easy to say that you are ready for a baby, but important to ask if you're ready   for an adolescent, a teenager, a college graduate.  And happily, I can say we are.  Our dreams for the future include preparing a child for success through all stages and being there for them every step of the way.

Yes, education is at the core of our family.  It always has been and always will be.  As future parents, it will be our greatest pleasure and accomplishment to educate and nurture a child--preparing them for much success, helping them up when they falter, and ensuring that their future is bright.  If we don't visualize success, we cannot make it a reality.  Fortunately, it is what we visualize and what we dream of--ensuring the child that comes into our lives and their entire family that they are well prepared, they have incredible support, and their future is bright.

No, we're not yet setting up a nursery, but yes, we are building a library for future little ones!

Summer Fun in Minnesota

Erik and I on vacation on a Minnesota lake with my brother and his family

Ahh....summer vacation!  Vacation always brings some of the sweetest moments of summer.  This year,  we were lucky enough to go to a lake cabin up north with my (Suzy's) brother and his family.  While my parents, my four siblings and myself are scattered across the country, we still find time to visit each other.  Those visits happen on holidays and on shared family vacations.  Since growing up, my siblings, parents and I have toured the Great Lakes many times over, visited Niagra Falls, Chesapeake Bay Area, Yellowstone, Washington D.C., the Outer Banks of North Carolina, the beaches of Florida and, of course, the many wonders of Minnesota and the Twin Cities.

Some of my favorite trips are those where my family comes through the Twin Cities and I get to share everything I love about these amazing cities.  So this year, that is just what we did.  Seeing our nieces and nephews is always exciting as well as I watch them grow and mature.  Here is our summer vacation...

                         


















We began our trip with a St. Paul day.  My favorite picture?  Reading with the Snoopy characters in Rice Park!  In all, we took in Grand Avenue, Harriet Island, Rice Park, the Excel Center, and Como Park's Conservatory and Zoo.  What a day!

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And then came the lake.  The drive itself was blissful--passing by Lake Mille Lacs and feeling the breeze off the lake.  A short drive down a dirt road in the woods and we were there and ready for mornings reading by the lake, days jumping off the dock and nights eating s'mores around the campfire.  Before we arrived, the kids even took in some horseback riding!

Time spent with our nieces and nephews is so nice. No matter how old they are, I am always amazed at how they have grown.  With a great spread of ages among me and my brothers and sister, my first nephew was born when I was still in grade school.  Still, with each new niece and nephew, I have been a huge part of their lives.  From babysitting to helping out when they came home from the hospital, to discussing ideas for future colleges and currently helping to plan a wedding, I am always thankful for our relationships.


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The trip ended with my favorite tour of Minneapolis.  We took in all of the must-sees: St. Anthony Main, a walk across the Stone Arch Bridge, Mill City Ruins, Downtown, Target Field Plaza, a walk around Loring Park and the Walker Sculpture Garden, Uptown, the Chain of Lakes and wading in the water downstream from Minnehaha Falls.  As any good vacation, we ended with ice cream cones in the park.  It was perfect!

Of course, no child's trip would be complete without a visit to the Mall of America's Lego Land and amusement park!

All in all, it was one packed trip!  Busy in the city as we strived to see all we could see and relaxing at the lake as we lounged in the water for days.  These are the types of trips we can't wait to give our own children.  Living in the cities, so many of these very places will fill our Saturdays while trips to lakes up north will undoubtedly fill our summers.  Family vacations of our dreams will include trips as an immediate family, but also trips enjoyed with extended family full of quality time and lasting memories.

What's up for next year?  Well, depending on our family situation at the time, we plan to explore Wisconsin's Apostle Islands with my little brother.  Can't wait to share the wonders of our city and our state all over again with him and his wife!