Everybody Loves Me!

Our last post was all about the wonders of fall and the promise of a new year, but now I am taking a minute to reminisce about the wonders of summer.  Of course, as an educator, my summers are generally very relaxed.  This summer was no different, but it seems to hold a special place in my heart.  After a relatively rough year of infertility, we were able to fully relax, be renewed by the promise of adoption, and spend quality time with family and friends without the distractions that had plagued us over the last year. 

Some of the most memorable time this summer was the time I spent with a good friend--a friend I've known since college, with whom I have traveled the world and shared tubs of ice cream, tears, and endless laughs.  This summer, I shared a special time with her as she welcomed her brand new baby boy into her family.  As a rule, Erik and I both try to give our time, energy, and a helping hand to others whenever we can and this summer, I could.  Quite a unique situation, my friend and her family found themselves in the surprising, but incredible position of welcoming a new baby through adoption.  In a matter of weeks, they went from a family of three to a family of four, with two boys 17 months apart!  So I was there--spending quality time with the oldest boy as he adjusted to his new sibling, helping to push the double stroller through the park, watching the boys while mom took a minute to shower.  This time was invaluable time with a good friend, but also time that reinforced the beauty of adoption over and over again.

On one trip to stock up for her brand new baby, I saw something I couldn't resist - this cute onesie!  Why?

Because of the message.  The message that wisely included EVERYBODY.  The rest of the aisles were lined with bibs and blankets proclaiming "Mommy Loves Me" or "Daddy's Little Monster," but this onesie, complete with adorable giraffes, sensibly stated "EVERYBODY LOVES ME."  My friend and I talked about how we loved the message and later, once I revealed my new purchase to hubs, we reflected on what this will mean to our future family.

It was one little onesie, but in a few words, it summed up one of the most important lessons we wish to teach our future child.  Indeed, it represented the primary message we want to share with the child and birth family alike.  For the child that joins our family, it is important to us that they know the love of everyone that surrounds them--parents, friends, family, and birth family.  We will always recognize that it was love that brought them into the world, love that brought them into our family, and love that will sustain them and our family.  

Erik and I look forward to building a positive and constructive open adoption.  While we know that the type of open adoption we have will be borne of a mutual agreement between birth parents and adoptive parents, we also know that no matter what that ends up looking like we will always teach our child the incredible love of all involved.  That love is all-encompassing and never ending and as such, should always be communicated and celebrated.  It is this very message, that "EVERYBODY LOVES ME"  that we hope to help our child fully understand, appreciate, and carry in their heart for a lifetime.

As we look forward to our future meeting with a birth parent, birth parents, or an entire birth family there will always be apprehension, we assume for both parties.  But in the end, we know that the family we are paired with will share our dream of helping that very special little one feel all the love that surrounds them.  Indeed, our family will be defined, more that anything else, by love.  Here's hoping we find those somebodies to share our lives with!

Much Success--Our Promise of Education

This is what is known as the best time of the year, at least in my world.  Summer is winding down and fall is arriving.  But there are still long days to enjoy, to truly savor, as we realize these sun-drenched days won't be around much longer.  It is the time when you scramble to do all your favorite outdoor activities before the cold blows in, to venture to all those places you hadn't quite gotten to yet.  And for me, every year at this point, it is a time of promise and excitement.

As a teacher, this is the first week of school and the beginning of my year.  It is hectic, it is tiring, but it is magical.  As I savor these last warm days, I also welcome a brand new batch of students.  I get my classroom ready, I walk through each lesson meticulously, I attend many meetings to sharpen my skills, and I become inspired for the year ahead.

Yet this year, as I prepare, things are a bit different.  Not only am I now able to work across the K-12 spectrum and support students of various ages with various needs to maximize their success; I am also able to think beyond the school building.  Yes, I am becoming inspired by the promise and excitement for my future class, but at the same time, I am becoming inspired by the promise and excitement of our own family's future.  The leap may seem odd, so let me explain...

The connection happened at a conference, of all places.  When the presenter was delivering his closing remarks, he said something that made me think far beyond the classroom and far into the future.  Here, he shared what they tell their students as they graduate high school and prepare to leave for college.  "At our schools we don't say good luck," he said.  "You don't need luck if you're well prepared, so we say much success."  It was simple, it was straight-forward, but it left an incredible impact.  Immediately, my mind went to the children in my classroom, the children in my school.  I began running through the different ways we prepare our students for those academic and character tests they will encounter in and outside of school.  But all of a sudden, it seemed to strike a chord with me outside of the classroom, with the child who will become part of our family.

I began thinking of our future family--children we will nurture and support as infants, toddlers, adolescents, and adults.  And I began thinking of the implications of good luck and what it really means to truly prepare your children for the future.

Education is an enormous part of our lives.  Indeed, a promise of a good education is one of the most important things we feel we can give to the child that comes into our family.  Still, it is clear that it is not just education that prepares children for their future.  And so, I'm thinking of what it will really take to prepare our children for success.

When our child walks into Kindergarten, I want to watch knowing that we have prepared them for that moment--that we've walked them through their day, discussed what it means to be a respectful, responsible student, shared our belief that school is for learning and for fun.  And I want them to come running into our arms with stories of success.  I want to be sitting in the stands as they play in their first soccer game or their first concert, knowing that we have helped them plan for success,  for them to leave in the morning confident in all that lies ahead of them that day.  And as they grow, we want to be there helping them navigate those emotional years, there to help them tackle their challenges, to guide them in their studies, and to support them fully in their dreams.

Of course, there will be days when they may be timid or days where their confidence has left them and on those days, we'll be there just the same, preparing them for success as we build them up.  It is easy to say that you are ready for all the successes, but what is important is that you are just as ready for the challenges.  Likewise, it is easy to say that you are ready for a baby, but important to ask if you're ready   for an adolescent, a teenager, a college graduate.  And happily, I can say we are.  Our dreams for the future include preparing a child for success through all stages and being there for them every step of the way.

Yes, education is at the core of our family.  It always has been and always will be.  As future parents, it will be our greatest pleasure and accomplishment to educate and nurture a child--preparing them for much success, helping them up when they falter, and ensuring that their future is bright.  If we don't visualize success, we cannot make it a reality.  Fortunately, it is what we visualize and what we dream of--ensuring the child that comes into our lives and their entire family that they are well prepared, they have incredible support, and their future is bright.

No, we're not yet setting up a nursery, but yes, we are building a library for future little ones!