Notes on Support

When we were waiting for our first baby, I wrote about the importance of education to us.  In looking back and now having been able to experience some of these things as parents, it couldn't ring truer than it does today.  The post Much Success--Our Promise of Education talks about how we will make education a priority for our children, but even more so, how we will make preparing them emotionally and supporting them emotionally a priority, so that they can truly realize that success.  We noted how it is easy to be ready for idealistic parts of parenting, but important to be ready for all the parts in between as well.  Here's a little excerpt:

Education is an enormous part of our lives.  Indeed, a promise of a good education is one of the most important things we feel we can give to the child that comes into our family.  Still, it is clear that it is not just education that prepares children for their future.

And so, I'm thinking of what it will really take to prepare our children for success.
When our children walk into Kindergarten, I want to watch knowing that we have prepared them for that moment--that we've walked them through their day, discussed what it means to be a respectful, responsible student, shared our belief that school is for learning and for fun.  And I want them to come running into our arms with stories of success.  I want to be sitting in the stands as they play in their first soccer game or their first concert, knowing that we have helped them plan for success,  for them to leave in the morning confident in all that lies ahead of them that day.  And as they grow, we want to be there helping them navigate those emotional years, there to help them tackle their challenges, to guide them in their studies, and to support them fully in their dreams.
Of course, there will be days when they may be timid or days where their confidence has left them and on those days, we'll be there just the same, preparing them for success as we build them up.  It is easy to say that you are ready for all the successes, but what is important is that you are just as ready for the challenges.  Likewise, it is easy to say that you are ready for a baby, but important to ask if you're ready  for an adolescent, a teenager, a college graduate.  And happily, I can say we are.  Our dreams for the future include preparing a child for success through all stages and being there for them every step of the way.

Yes, education is at the core of our family.  It always has been and always will be.  As future parents, it will be our greatest pleasure and accomplishment to educate and nurture a child--preparing them for much success, helping them up when they falter, and ensuring that their future is bright.  If we don't visualize success, we cannot make it a reality.  Fortunately, it is what we visualize and what we dream of--ensuring the child that comes into our lives and their entire family that they are well prepared, they have incredible support, and their future is bright.

As a teacher I teach children how to read and write, solve math problems, and learn about the world around them.  I believe that each step of the way, I am preparing them for success.  But I also teach how to manage their emotions, how to communicate with others, how to be a good friend, how to assert themselves and how to listen to others, how to persevere and concur challenges that may lie ahead of them.  The lessons in Kindergarten are endless, and I am so lucky to be able to teach these important, lifelong lessons to little ones.

But now, as parents, we can reflect on teaching these things to our own little one as well.  Our daughter is curious.  She is into everything; there is barely a risk she won't take.  She plays hard and feels hard--she is four, after all.  And we love it, every minute of it.  Watching her in the act of growing is the greatest joy of life.  

Those are the sweetest moments of parenting, but we all know there are many other moments in between.  At a recent parent teacher conference, I heard of a parent surprised that their child did not exhibit some of the behaviors they were showing at home at school.  And what she said next was priceless.  "I am glad, of course," she noted.  "Not only glad to hear that he's doing well here, but also glad that I get to be the one to teach him how to navigate those tough times."  And of course, this is the key.

Life is made up of the above, but there are tantrums as well in the life of a parent; there are big emotions and reactions.  But to be able to teach one how to work through this --how to take their frustrations and understand them, put into words how they are feeling, and communicate to fix their problems is such a privilege.  To be able to teach one how to handle disappointment without getting discouraged, to be there to pick them up and help them dust themselves off and be ready for the next set of challenges is such a privilege.  To be able to teach one that that feeling, that emotion is ok, that it is ok to feel that, and then what to do with that feeling constructively is such a privilege.  Indeed, it is the greatest honor as a parent.

And today we stand ready to begin again with another little one.  To love and cherish, guide and enrich, but most of all to support every step of the way.  We are ready for the successes and the challenges alike, for the baby days and the teenage days.  Indeed, we are eager--eager for the opportunity to be a rock of stability for whatever child comes into our lives and joins our family next. 

Play is Learning

One of the greatest joys of parenting is watching a little one learning.  Some of those moments stick out in my mind and will last a lifetime--when in the stage of filling and emptying everything in sight, she once ran out of space in the container for the balls in front of her.  You could see her thinking in that moment and then she searched for another container and proudly filled it as well.  When in a highly verbal stage as a three year old, I listened to her put words together and build her vocabulary, using more and more words each day.  And now, as a four year old, I listen and watch as she sits in my lap as she put sounds together to begin to read.  And when you watch, you can see the thinking, the learning.  It's thrilling for us as parents and for me as a teacher!

But learning is broad and she's learning with about everything she does these days.  Whether it's learning balance as she climbs one of the many logs or rocks she decides to take on when we're enjoying the outdoors, or finding little ant hills or bugs to inspect along the way.  With every bit of this, we watch her intently watch the world around her and hear the many questions she asks.  We watch her think her footing through and become more and more sure of herself and her physical abilities.

Sometimes, it's watching her learn as she does one of her many puzzles--how she tries different pieces and turns the pieces different ways and solves them without giving into frustration.  Other times, it's watching as she learns how the colors of paint mix, or how different brushes work. It's riding bikes and scooters for hours, exploring every nook and cranny of a museum's interactive exhibits, and learning to share and compromise as she plays with friends. 

Whatever it might be, we try to engage in as much play as possible--to engage and get energy out, to form happy memories, and to promote that learning.  Events and places around town are always fun to explore--from programs to see animals at local nature centers or farms, to exploring at the Children's or Science Museum...from getting creative at an art studio to exploring different cultures through festivals around the cities...from open gym days with endless running and tumbling to lazy days at the beach building sand castles.



This is the heart of our family--exploring, engaging, learning.  We are so excited to watch as another little one grows, to watch them develop and learn through such experiences.  To watch siblings play and learn together will be another honor that we have yet to experience. 
To the little one who joins our family--we have a whole world to explore, and your big sister is more than ready to show you around!