Notes on Support

When we were waiting for our first baby, I wrote about the importance of education to us.  In looking back and now having been able to experience some of these things as parents, it couldn't ring truer than it does today.  The post Much Success--Our Promise of Education talks about how we will make education a priority for our children, but even more so, how we will make preparing them emotionally and supporting them emotionally a priority, so that they can truly realize that success.  We noted how it is easy to be ready for idealistic parts of parenting, but important to be ready for all the parts in between as well.  Here's a little excerpt:

Education is an enormous part of our lives.  Indeed, a promise of a good education is one of the most important things we feel we can give to the child that comes into our family.  Still, it is clear that it is not just education that prepares children for their future.

And so, I'm thinking of what it will really take to prepare our children for success.
When our children walk into Kindergarten, I want to watch knowing that we have prepared them for that moment--that we've walked them through their day, discussed what it means to be a respectful, responsible student, shared our belief that school is for learning and for fun.  And I want them to come running into our arms with stories of success.  I want to be sitting in the stands as they play in their first soccer game or their first concert, knowing that we have helped them plan for success,  for them to leave in the morning confident in all that lies ahead of them that day.  And as they grow, we want to be there helping them navigate those emotional years, there to help them tackle their challenges, to guide them in their studies, and to support them fully in their dreams.
Of course, there will be days when they may be timid or days where their confidence has left them and on those days, we'll be there just the same, preparing them for success as we build them up.  It is easy to say that you are ready for all the successes, but what is important is that you are just as ready for the challenges.  Likewise, it is easy to say that you are ready for a baby, but important to ask if you're ready  for an adolescent, a teenager, a college graduate.  And happily, I can say we are.  Our dreams for the future include preparing a child for success through all stages and being there for them every step of the way.

Yes, education is at the core of our family.  It always has been and always will be.  As future parents, it will be our greatest pleasure and accomplishment to educate and nurture a child--preparing them for much success, helping them up when they falter, and ensuring that their future is bright.  If we don't visualize success, we cannot make it a reality.  Fortunately, it is what we visualize and what we dream of--ensuring the child that comes into our lives and their entire family that they are well prepared, they have incredible support, and their future is bright.

As a teacher I teach children how to read and write, solve math problems, and learn about the world around them.  I believe that each step of the way, I am preparing them for success.  But I also teach how to manage their emotions, how to communicate with others, how to be a good friend, how to assert themselves and how to listen to others, how to persevere and concur challenges that may lie ahead of them.  The lessons in Kindergarten are endless, and I am so lucky to be able to teach these important, lifelong lessons to little ones.

But now, as parents, we can reflect on teaching these things to our own little one as well.  Our daughter is curious.  She is into everything; there is barely a risk she won't take.  She plays hard and feels hard--she is four, after all.  And we love it, every minute of it.  Watching her in the act of growing is the greatest joy of life.  

Those are the sweetest moments of parenting, but we all know there are many other moments in between.  At a recent parent teacher conference, I heard of a parent surprised that their child did not exhibit some of the behaviors they were showing at home at school.  And what she said next was priceless.  "I am glad, of course," she noted.  "Not only glad to hear that he's doing well here, but also glad that I get to be the one to teach him how to navigate those tough times."  And of course, this is the key.

Life is made up of the above, but there are tantrums as well in the life of a parent; there are big emotions and reactions.  But to be able to teach one how to work through this --how to take their frustrations and understand them, put into words how they are feeling, and communicate to fix their problems is such a privilege.  To be able to teach one how to handle disappointment without getting discouraged, to be there to pick them up and help them dust themselves off and be ready for the next set of challenges is such a privilege.  To be able to teach one that that feeling, that emotion is ok, that it is ok to feel that, and then what to do with that feeling constructively is such a privilege.  Indeed, it is the greatest honor as a parent.

And today we stand ready to begin again with another little one.  To love and cherish, guide and enrich, but most of all to support every step of the way.  We are ready for the successes and the challenges alike, for the baby days and the teenage days.  Indeed, we are eager--eager for the opportunity to be a rock of stability for whatever child comes into our lives and joins our family next.